Appointment Update - "You are worth more than many sparrows."

Yesterday, as Jon and I took the 45 minute drive to Irvine for an appointment with Dr. Loo, the Pediatric Cardiologist, a silence fell over our car. We’ve made that trip so many times and all of those times we have talked about what the appointment would be like and how we were feeling. But yesterday was different. We were going to see if the vessel, we were told a month ago was dangerously smaller than the other one, had grown and also how big the hole between her two heart chambers had gotten. We had no words. I kept looking over at Jon wondering what he was thinking. Should I ask him? Should I let him sit with the Lord right now? I had a million things going through my head. We both sat there staring forward listening to worship the whole way with not one word.

We parked, prayed together and walked in. Every time I walk into that hospital I feel the control over my daughters life stripped away from me. Not in a bad way, more of a surrender way. As I saw Dr. Loo open the door to call us in I felt a sense of peace and joy. There is something about that man that gives me hope. He calms my nerves and makes me feel like everything will be ok. We chatted and laughed a bit as we walked down the hall to the room where the fetal echo was to take place. We exchanged stories of Christmas and vacations and were able to catch up on life a bit. Then down to business. The ultrasound took about an hour and a half.

After he finished we all sat together and went over the results. He did see that one of the vessels still measured smaller than the other but not significant enough for him to be alarmed or for him to suggest we would have to change the type of surgery she was getting. Yes, there is a hole between the chambers but it also measured very small. In fact that little hole might actually be a blessing in the few days after birth, before surgery. It might be just big enough to allow some oxygenated blood to pass over to the other chamber. She might only need oxygen and a small tube that will be inserted through her belly button up to her heart to help it pump more efficiently. This means, there is chance, mom and dad can hold her before they transfer her over to Children’s Hospital. Never in a million years would I be happy about a hole in my daughter’s heart but yesterday I was. The hole will only add about 20 minutes to her 4 hour heart surgery and should be easy to fix.

I felt a huge rush of relief come over my body. Dr. Loo prayed over us and our precious Charlotte. We walked out of his office with our heads held high. We also might have done a little 1980’s jump in the air high five as we got onto the elevator. Rejoice!!

Next, we headed down to the 3rd floor to do our first non-stress test. I will be going in 2 times a week up until birth for these tests to make sure her heart is strong enough for birth and that there is enough amniotic fluid. The test went great. She was champ. All that line dancing in my belly paid off as she performed her little dance routine for the nurses. My kid is already a little performer! As the amazingly sweet tech was checking the amniotic fluid level she said, “I see hair! She will not be coming out bald, your little girl has hair already.” I looked over at Jon and saw tears well up in his eyes. What a moment that was. “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)

Thank you for all your prayers and for continuing on this journey with us. 6 more weeks until Charlotte makes her début. Get ready world, she’s already helping to change lives! This one will be a force to be reckoned with and I am so blessed that I get to be her momma!